Of Bulging Bladders and Exhausted Zips

Ok, so this is one topic I’ve been waiting to discuss for a very long time now.  But, well, I just couldn’t do it because of my awkward introvertedness and my supremely shy mind. I’m not both those things anymore so I guess that means I’m just brutally honest and extremely shameless to talk about this now. Go ahead, judge me! I shall do this and shall do it proudly.
Oh, and if you’re the squeamish kind that thinks this is not something a ‘girl’ should discuss or is something that just needs to be hated ‘privately’, then please leave. The exit is on the top left corner.
So is it just me or is the sight of men’s pant zips lowered, to splash the public walls with disgustingly bacteria filled body juices, the most repulsive sight ever known? Oh, and I address this to the male population not because I’m all about how women are so much better (Though they are!) but because I haven’t seen a woman, and never hope to see one lifting up her dress or pulling down her pants to relieve herself on the streets. God forbid the day that even that becomes acceptable. I mean, what’s next? Public excretion and roadside sex? There are some things that need not be seen by all! Geez!
So, anyway, it’s horribly distracting to drive past a line of men, their butts facing the street as they quickly urinate on the poor plants or the helpless soil, while at least 200 people notice them and look away, flushed.

This reminds me of the time when I was having my breakfast in my car (Yes, yes, I am ‘SO’ busy that I can’t find time to eat at home), I caught sight of a man urinating on one of the busiest streets of Hyderabad, showing off his pride and joy for the world to see.
No, thank you. I’m not interested.
Besides, I already took my awkward biology class and I don’t need a live demonstration of male genitals.
Oh, and I’m breakfast deprived now, so thanks for that too!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that, guys, if you’re really that seriously in need of a washroom and can’t make yourselves go into the public ones set up (Because it’s so much cleaner to do it on the road in front of the public, I totally understand! ) then just walk into a store, window shop, use their washroom and come out buying some gum. What do you think we ladies do? And you keep complaining that we are always shopping. Hmph.

So, here’s the deal. The next time you see someone degrading all of us by contaminating our streets, take a photo (Don’t lie, your phone has a camera. Almost every phone does, now) and write an article like this one.

Oh, and if you’re squeamishly fidgeting in your seat as you read this because you’re one of the contaminators,  then please just pull that damn zip up and walk away. For dignity ‘ s sake!

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