My New Blog – www.inkspression.in

Hey there.
I just wanted to let you all know that I am not going to be using this blog anymore other than for one or two random articles, perhaps. Instead, I started a new one. It is called Inkspression so do go there to read articles on various topics. I am going to add a few links below to make this easier for you.

Inkspression is all about my opinions and suggestions on various general topics so if you would like to relax and just read some of those, then go right ahead. But then, what do you prefer to read?

Well, if you like the serious stuff, things about our country and the various issues surrounding it, then Click Here.

But if you rather read something along the lines of improving your life and the lives of those around you, then just Click Here for articles such as How to Make Money While Studying.

If you are on the lookout for some entertainment news, Click Here for articles such as Top Animated Movies.

For relationship advice and other such related topics, Click Here for articles such as How to Have a Lasting Relationship.

I also have a ‘General’ category of How To guides, Random writings and gender specific lists. You can Click Here for those to read articles such as How to Stick to your Resolutions and Three Worded Phrases we should use more often .

Thanks a lot. As always, your feedback is most welcome 😀

Kart Flipping Mania!

Disclaimer: This is just an exaggerated and humourous attempt, a piece of writing that is meant for a few smiles and not to be taken seriously which is exactly why I waited this long to post it though I wrote it quite a long time ago. I hope this does not offend you, but even if it does, do remember that you are entitled to your opinion just as much as I am. Oh, and if you read the entire article, I will give you a free pen drive!!!

 

On the 6^th of October, 2014, a major event took place, one that shall remain in the minds and hearts of Indians for a long time to count. This article is a tribute to that event. Yes, yes, stop jumping around. This is about the Big Billion Day Sale by Flipkart.

Eager shoppers sat at their desks, their eyes fixated on their bright computer and laptop screens, their mouths wide open as the cursors hovered over the refresh button. Beside them, a long list of all the purchases that were not made for years due to the miserly mentalities and ‘save for a rainy day’ attitudes of our countrymen lay, eagerly waiting to be checked off. Bank balances were quite high, ready to be diminished, all the for sake of the promise of life’s biggest sale made by Flipkart, an online shopping giant. Credit Cards and Debit Cards were polished, their numbers memorized throughout the night to enable a faster shopping experience. Oh, and breakfast was forgotten because this was even more important than the most important meal of the day.

The clock struck eight. The drooling began. The page opened… And it crashed.
Shocked shoppers loaded the page again and again and again, repeatedly tapping on the poor mouse and the laptop touch pads, creating holes the shape of fingerprints in them. Those who suspected that there was a problem in their domestic internet ran out in their robes and night gowns, their bathroom slippers making a weird noise on the streets and a cup of coffee (Or Tea) in their hands, sloshing around making brown marks on their pages and pages of stuff to buy. Their frenzy was unimaginable and their terror completely insane as they ran around in search of internet booths to cry in. Their lives were at stake. The 1 Re pen drives would soon be out of stock and then they would have to do the unthinkable. They would have to… *gasp*… spend more. Oh, the horror.

With gulped down tears and held back fury, they rang the neighbours’ doorbells repeatedly to inquire if the problem was the internet or the site itself. But no one came to the door because everyone in the neighbour’s house had already occupied the only internet booth in the street.
Time began to pass, schools and colleges and offices began to open. Multiple leaves were taken. Loss of pay was flying around the country. Those who could not take leave refreshed the page in their office cabins instead. Beads of sweat trickled down their chins and their eyeballs almost popped out of their faces. This was the most stressful day of their lives. Not even an earthquake could rip them off their seats now. If they were going to die in a natural disaster, then they wanted to be buried with their pen drives from flipkart.
But sadly, by the end of the day, everyone’s pages of unfulfilled purchases were turned into spiral bound booklets of ‘Things to buy for cheap before I die’.

Meanwhile, those like me, the lazy, uncaring ones, went through the routine of the day, not even knowing or bothering about the sale. I, in particular, did not find the need to get into the entire chaos of it. This is not because I am rolling in money, which I most definitely am not.
The only thing I am rolling in is fifty paisa coins, that too, after selling my house and my car. Anyway, as I leisurely scrolled through my Facebook page and read the rants of the people who had wasted their lives in front of their computers, I laughed to myself, not in a form of mockery, but because I had something fun to write about.
So, I got on and typed this out but I did not publish it. I was worried.
What if some sort of Flipkart hating mob would murder me on my way to work? What if people performed some sort of voodoo black magic on me and I would suddenly find a broken arm or a twisted leg? No, thank you. I wasn’t willing to take that risk. What would happen to all my fifty paisa coins? Do you know how many pen drives I would have gotten that day for those?

Anyway, jokes apart, I really did not and still do not understand why people had to go so crazy over something as silly as a sale. Alright, so a few hours were wasted and there was a lot of disappointment with Flipkart, but honestly, it happens. Competition is fierce and sometimes, things go wrong. Are you telling me that you never threw a party and fell short of return gifts? Do you mean to say that in every single function, party and wedding that you were part of always had enough quantities of food? These situations result in hundreds of unsatisfied people. Now add multiple zeroes at the end of that number and you have in front of you, the sale at Flipkart.
Like I said, it happens.

Now, the moment of truth. On an average, say a person wasted about four – six hours on the website and is now crying about it, shouting abuses and writing profanities about the whole deal, when he could have been doing something else in that time. Alright, so please please tell me this. What did you hope to achieve instead? Were you going to feed the poor? Where you donating blood? Were you trying to clean up the city? If yes, then how come a pathetic excuse of a sale stopped you from doing something of so much more importance?
Most of us, I am sure, would either have been watching a movie (which will most probably be bad), or texting our friends (which is surely equally pointless) in that time. And even if there was something more productive like studying or working, hell, we do that every day. Consider this a frustrating break and let it slide, alright?
Enough blood was boiled that day. RIP bodily functions.

To those of you who completely disagree with me, do understand that this is an opinion and does not have anything to do with changing your minds. I just love to express myself in the weirdest ways possible and this is one of them. Thanks for getting this far. You may leave now.
Oh, and I lied about the free pen drive.
But you must be used to failed deals by now, so, no hard feelings? 😀

Of Ignorant Judgments and Unnecessary Negativity

My best friend is a Muslim. My maid is a Christian. One of my closest friends is gay. I interact with a lot of ‘fat’ people. Ugliness is in my blood.
Does any of this bother you? Yes? Then leave. I don’t want your stench on my page.
It doesn’t bother you? Good. Because I am about to get super duper angry at those who said ‘yes’ and you are lucky enough to witness it. Take a seat because if you don’t, then I might break that chair. (Yes, I have temper issues. My gun is in the right drawer behind me. Consider yourself warned and sit down before my head blows up.)

Let me make one thing clear. We, human beings, are not eternal.  No, we do not carve our names on this planet for longer than seventy years (I am taking an average, so don’t panic. You may live longer, or much much lesser. Okay…you may panic now).
So why do we act like we own the place?

To set things straight, I do not care if you pray to a different God than I do. In fact, I do not care if you don’t pray at all. Are you nice to me? Good. Then I will be nice to you.
I do not care if your cuisine is different from mine. You find bugs delicious? Cool. In fact, come over to my place. I have a lot of those! But are you friendly? Awesome. Then I will be friends with you.
I do not care what you are like. Your skin is dark, your tummy is flabby and your English is bad? That is okay. Do you breathe in air and have a beating heart? You do? Then we are just fine.
And I most certainly do not care if you are a girl and you fancy me or if you are a guy and you fancy another guy friend of mine. Are you trustworthy and loyal? Excellent. Then you and I will do great…In a very platonic way, though!

Seriously, stop judging people. Stop arguing with people about baseless things. Just stop. You are no better than the rest of us. Don’t say that just because you are stronger, you deserve to bully your way through us or because you are richer, you get to treat me like your slave. Don’t expect that just because you look better, I will automatically drool over you or that because you know celebrities, I will follow you around like a puppy and wait for you to introduce me to these hotshots. (Unless you know Hrithik Roshan. Then, well, maybe. Okay, I am just kidding. *Not Really*)

Understand the thin line between having an opinion and being cruel. Like, for example, it is alright to dislike animals. I personally don’t see what any animal ever did to you excepting for protecting itself, but hey, whatever! Your opinion! But don’t be cruel to animals. Don’t throw stones at them or kill them mercilessly. Don’t do that. That is not dislike, that is pure evil.

But this is exactly what we are doing to our own human beings. We are dissecting and discriminating, forcing our opinions into controversies and convincing mindless people that we are right in doing so. A group of similar people are not friends anymore. A group of people from the same state or country or complexion or caste or culture are.
Hold up. Let me get one thing straight. You can forgive a guy for sexual assault because he is from your caste but when someone from another caste does it, then you beat him up? So the issue here is not the assault, is it?
If you whistle and make weird noises at a hot woman walking in front you, it is absolutely fine, but when she turns around and you find out that she is actually a family member, then suddenly, you zip up? So the problem here is not really the bad behaviour, but more about WHO you direct it to? Pfft.

Remember that down the line, when we breathe our last and close our eyes, we will be buried under the same soil that we drew boundaries over. Our bank accounts will be loaded with the cash that we never enjoyed when we were alive.
When you were born, you did not know. When you die, you won’t care. So why are you creating problems during the journey in between?

Look, I don’t care if you have a third eye, an extra finger, a couple of extra toes or even a tail (Can I take a photo though, please? Just the tail at least? Aw, come on!). I will talk to you and treat you as my own if you just behave like a good human being.

Lastly, I would like to tell you all to pick up those damn phones of yours, get onto one of those annoying apps that I am addicted to and communicate with any person you know who is not of the same caste, sexual orientation, religion or race as you are. Tell them just three words.
Not ‘I love you’, you love-sick morons.
Tell them this.
“I don’t care.”
Because you should not, no matter what anyone thinks. Not because I am telling you not to but because it is wrong to care about all that nonsense.

Okie dokie then, I am going to go. I don’t want to start swearing or anything. Oh, and you may get off that chair now. I am done. And don’t worry. There is no gun in the drawer behind me.
I think.

Of Scruffy Beards and Male Insecurities

This is an issue that has been bothering me for a long time now. As you may know by this time, if you’re a regular reader, this is a rant. So, for those of you who are hurt by the title itself, I suggest you leave right away because things are going to get a lot worse from right about now.

I don’t know if it is that I attract the weird people or if I’m the insane one, but I seem to come across plenty with wrong ideas or flawed principles. One such that I refuse to agree with is the statement that ‘You need a beard to call yourself a man’.

Just one word to sum up how I feel about that. Ridiculous. (Actually, that’s not the word but I don’t want to abuse in public. So, just insert an appropriate profanity!)

Now let me make one thing clear to you.  Physical appearance is a choice. It’s based on perception. This rant is not about whether it is right or not to have  a beard. It’s about not passing around baseless remarks that affect the way other people would like to look. I know this guy who looks really adorable when he’s clean shaven (I have his number and you don’t, ha!) and all the girls love him, but he refuses to shave his beard off because he’s afraid of what the ‘other guys’ would say. I asked him whether he liked it with all the facial hair. He shook his head like he had no option and that was when I knew I just had to write this.

Being a man is not about having facial hair or puffed-up muscles. It’s about sticking to your principles and knowing what you’re worth instead of being bogged down by senseless rules. It’s about being human (No, not that T-shirt Quote) and believing in what’s wrong as well as sticking up for what’s right. It’s about supporting those around you and spreading awareness about life.

So, don’t tell me that by some godforsaken definition, a ‘man’ is defined by his physical appearance! What dictionary are you guys even looking at?
How much of a ‘man’ are you when you rape a woman just because she’s alone and defenseless? What kind of a ‘man’ do you think you are when you beat up your wife? How much of a ‘man’ do you quantify as when you lie, cheat, steal? What makes you a ‘man’ when you stand by watching a crime happen and do absolutely nothing to help?

I am sorry but there is no way I will nod and agree if you say that your laziness in shaving off your facial hair or your just sitting there and letting your beard grow makes you think that you’re more of a man than the rest are.

You really want to be a man? Then stop being such a jerk!

If Only

She stood in the corner of the street, away from cold stares and heartless whispers as she shuddered under the raging thunder. The noise of pointless pencil heels and the dazzle of temporarily luxurious jewellery distracted her, almost for a second, till she remembered her own blistered toes and torn clothes and looked away, knowing she would always be so very close to the immaterial materialistic part of human life and yet be so far away.
No matter how much she tried to reach out, to delicately brush her fingers across all the lavishness she desperately longed for but could never have, she was unable to get close enough.

The lightning flashed across the sky, playing hide-and-seek with the world as it winked in a flash of a second, depriving the people of clarity. It reminded her of the sadistic jingle of coins that came from purses branded with money that could have instead been used to feed children like her and the crisp sharpness of notes that had the face of a man she would never be able to learn about.
A man who fought for the country without an inkling of the state it now was in with the alarming rates of malnutrition and poverty that affected the people, more so the innocent children who did not know the horrors of their lives.
A man who died a little too soon before he could see how much transformation lit up the lives of the rich and buried the hearts of the poor.
A man who would not expect nor want the cruelty that was stepping on children struggling to afford even one meal a day, let alone three.

And so, she stood, trying to take shelter from the harsh rain drops that would pierce her delicate skin, wrought from the exposure of the terrible mixture of pollution and human hatred. But as it actually began to pour, people seemed to finally see her, or so she thought, till they rushed towards the iron ledge she managed to hold on to for herself. As they pushed her out of the tiny space of comfort she would get for weeks to come, she looked up at the pairs of eyes that refused to see beyond the obvious.

She walked away in the rain, shivering as the water got through the numerous tears in her clothes and found their way towards her hauntingly obvious ribs and the inward curve of her abdomen while, in a painful contrast, most other kids her age were healthy from eating off plates instead of garbage cans.

As an inward shudder escaped her and she heard her stomach growl from hunger, she felt herself go dizzy till she gave in to her boiling skin and the pain in her bones, falling to the floor in a dead faint. It was hours before she spotted but by then it was too late.

Her battered heart had given up on her.

If only.

This post is a part of the #Vote4Children Blog-a-thon on 
Youth Ki Awaaz. 
Find out more at: http://www.youthkiawaaz.com/vote4children

Of Bulging Bladders and Exhausted Zips

Ok, so this is one topic I’ve been waiting to discuss for a very long time now.  But, well, I just couldn’t do it because of my awkward introvertedness and my supremely shy mind. I’m not both those things anymore so I guess that means I’m just brutally honest and extremely shameless to talk about this now. Go ahead, judge me! I shall do this and shall do it proudly.

Oh, and if you’re the squeamish kind that thinks this is not something a ‘girl’ should discuss or is something that just needs to be hated ‘privately’, then please leave. The exit is on the top left corner.

So is it just me or is the sight of men’s pant zips lowered, to splash the public walls with disgustingly bacteria filled body juices, the most repulsive sight ever known? Oh, and I address this to the male population not because I’m all about how women are so much better (Though they are!) but because I haven’t seen a woman, and never hope to see one lifting up her dress or pulling down her pants to relieve herself on the streets. God forbid the day that even that becomes acceptable. I mean, what’s next? Public excretion and roadside sex? There are some things that need not be seen by all! Geez!
So, anyway, it’s horribly distracting to drive past a line of men, their butts facing the street as they quickly urinate on the poor plants or the helpless soil, while at least 200 people notice them and look away, flushed.

This reminds me of the time when I was having my breakfast in my car (Yes, yes, I am ‘SO’ busy that I can’t find time to eat at home), I caught sight of a man urinating on one of the busiest streets of Hyderabad, showing off his pride and joy for the world to see.
No, thank you. I’m not interested.
Besides, I already took my awkward biology class and I don’t need a live demonstration of male genitals.
Oh, and I’m breakfast deprived now, so thanks for that too!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that, guys, if you’re really that seriously in need of a washroom and can’t make yourselves go into the public ones set up (Because it’s so much cleaner to do it on the road in front of the public, I totally understand! ) then just walk into a store, window shop, use their washroom and come out buying some gum. What do you think we ladies do? And you keep complaining that we are always shopping. Hmph.

So, here’s the deal. The next time you see someone degrading all of us by contaminating our streets, take a photo (Don’t lie, your phone has a camera. Almost every phone does, now) and write an article like this one.

Oh, and if you’re squeamishly fidgeting in your seat as you read this because you’re one of the contaminators,  then please just pull that damn zip up and walk away. For dignity ‘ s sake!

Working Hard is Not Good Enough

Picking up this book from the rack of a popular bookstore is probably one of the most intelligent reading related decisions I’ve made in my life. At first, I was reluctant, having not had more than a few hundreds to spare. But the title drew me in and I gave in to the splurging side of me. A few pages through, it was obvious that I’d definitely picked a read that was my money’s worth.

Mainly, the book is about, as the title suggests, how Hard Work is not the only necessary ingredient towards achieving success. Working hard is not a fool proof plan if it is not accompanied by working smart. Enriched with plausible examples and witty anecdotes, these lessons in everyday life as portrayed in the pages seem to come to life. The best part of his examples are how much they relate to an individual’s life and how easily one can correlate the information based on the situation he / she is in.

The usefulness of the book to any person in any stage, be it a college goer or a businessperson or even a home-maker, does not go unnoticed. There are motivational instances highlighted in the book, of people who’ve tried and failed but haven’t given up, but instead changed their ways. In no way, must this be confused for preaching, rather than a well conglomerated strip of thoughts. Captivating and rational are the two best words that can be used to describe the essence of the message in his writing. 

The author, TGC Prasad, hits upon the essential elements of life with relation to management in this interesting journey through various peaks and depths of career endeavors. Along this fascinating path to self-discovery and a more enriched lifestyle, one comes across a Eureka! Moment and that is the one thing that every reader needs to look out for.

As the last page was done, I realized that I’d come out a stronger person, waiting to test my new found information. It was clear that years of hard work would be pointless if it wasn’t accompanied by intelligent decision making and proper time management as well as focusing on inherent personality traits to use them in a way that’s more beneficial to the circumstances.

TGC Prasad states that while Hard work is the fundamental Bedrock, it is just that and nothing more. While it lays the foundation, it is not enough. What is necessary is to look beyond failures and successes and to just move ahead with a clear mind and a defined goal ahead is what is necessary in today’s time bound world of chaos and disruptions.

With his indelible intent to make a difference in the psychology of human minds, TGC Prasad nails it with precision and compassion. It is no wonder that now, with an increased fan base and a high-held reputation, his next book is going to be equally awaited, if not more.

To know more about WHINGE, please
like https://www.facebook.com/WorkingHardisNotGoodEnough?fref=ts

Of Horrible Habits and Suffering Streets.

Before you start off, let me tell you something. If you’re one of those people that does any of the things I’m ranting about in this article, you are not going to like it. Ok, actually, you’re going to hate it. Because, let’s face facts. No one likes admitting that they’re wrong.
Fine, I’m done convincing you to leave. If you’re still here for some weird reason, you may carry on.

So, like every other day, I was driving to work, my windows down despite the blaring heat and the perfectly functioning air conditioner in my car (Blame my middle class mentality!) when I saw a man in the car next to mine, driving, all suited up as if getting ready for a big meeting. Now, before your dirty minds run wild, no, I wasn’t ogling at him, mostly because he was a gazillion years older to me, but also because of what he did next. Now, this was a sedan (Yes, status symbol…) and a posh one at that (I’m really bad at car names so we’ll skip that part!).
Slowing down, he lowered his window and stuck his head out. For an instant I thought he was one of those annoying hecklers who was going to give me a hard time because of my lack of testosterone content but, actually, he did something worse. He puckered up his lips and…
…spat on the road.
Yes, he spat.
Looking at the disgusting wet patch of goo splattered on the road, I rolled my windows up and turned the A/C on, not because of the heat but because of utter disgust. To hell with my inflated petrol bill. I had bigger things to worry about.

And this isn’t the first time I’m witnessing something this repulsive. People spitting out of buses on poor, unsuspecting souls, empty candy wrappers and crushed juice packets strewn on the streets and uncaring people stepping on them as they walk by. Wow, we’re so disrespectful.

I’m not exactly saying I’m above the rest, but I try to do my bit, picking up after others (Yes, I’m weird that way) and storing dashboards and bag compartments full of wrappers till I find bins… stuff like that.  It doesn’t take time at all, actually, just a bit of thought. Unless you have severe back pain and can’t bend. Then, stop throwing stuff in the first place.

 As for the spitting, seriously, what’s wrong with you people? Saliva is meant to gulp. And if there’s something else in your mouth, I hope to God it’s edible. If it is, three words. Gulp. It. Down. Unless it’s Chewing Gum. Then you can just stick it under your car seat (No, I’m not kidding!). If it’s not edible, then I still have three words for you. What. The. Hell?! Unless you eat Play Doh and you’re five. Then it’s acceptable. Yeah, yeah! I used to do it too. Don’t judge me.

Next time, if you see someone doing any of these things, look at them till they make eye contact with you and then make puking noises. Or just point and laugh till they want to crawl into a hole and die. Well, that is what I do. If you want to be all dignified, fine. Hmph.

You can’t expect others to respect you if you can’t respect yourself, right?

She.

It’s 9 AM.

A thundering slap on her cheek sends her flying across the room as she lies on the floor, nursing her smarting skin with her trembling fingers. Standing on top of her, her spouse breathes heavily, a lit cigarette in one hand and a rolled belt in the other. She closes her eyes, letting the tears fall as she welcomes the pain for the sheer sake of the wedding ring strapped tightly on her finger.

Liberation from domestic abuse? Obviously not!

It’s 3 PM.

Her lower lip begins to quiver but she holds back the tears as the man standing in her way shakes his head. She watches her brothers run out to play under the warmth of the sunshine.
“But Father,” she sulks. “I want to go play too.”
Her mother watches solemnly from the kitchen, unable to help her daughter. Abusing his dominance and their silence, her father refuses and asks her to go work. Her longing eyes watch the tiny figures of her brothers running towards the enchanting waves and listen to the sounds of laughter that she can’t be a part of.
Disheartened, she makes her way into the kitchen.

 Protection from discrimination? Surely not.

It’s 8 PM.
She glances at the silent street ahead, her eyes wary of the two men leaning against the shutters of a closed store, smoking. They’re bigger than she is and stronger than she’ll ever be. Clutching her purse tightly, she takes a deep breath and moves one step forward, her heart pounding in her chest. The only two sounds that can be heard as she gets closer to their hunched figures are the hurried clinking of her heels and the indefinable whispers of their voices. She can’t decide which is scarier but by now, she’s trembling. As she walks past them, quickening her pace with every step, she finally remembers to breathe. Her hammering heart calms down as she takes one last look behind her shoulder in case someone is following.
The dark is her enemy and she cannot fight it.

Freedom from fear? Absolutely not.

11 PM.

She screams in pain as the men drag her through the gravel into the dark alleyway. Her voice muffled from the sweaty hands grasped around her mouth, she struggles, knowing what’s going to happen to her. As the filthy fingernails claw into her skin, the endless torture begins, stripping her of her dignity and abandoning her with no fight left in her soul. By the time they leave, all she has is her tattered clothes that barely protect her broken heart.

Safety from rape? Definitely not.

So what exactly is her reason for celebrating Women’s day? Will 24 hours of recognition every year make up for the unending misery?

The day she takes self defense classes because she wants to be strong and not because she has to fight for survival.
The day she finally walks out on the people who make her suffer not because they’ve kicked her out but because she knows she can stand on her own two feet without their help.
The day she holds her head up high and walks past the men with confidence instead of cowering down to their physical and emotional dominance.
That is the day she shall celebrate.
But today, unfortunately, is not that day.

A Poke at the Pedestrians

Dear Pedestrians,

This one is for you. Yes, you. If you’re one of those sensitive two footers, I suggest you stop reading. For those of you still here, think of this as a ‘Tribute’ from us, The Wheelers.
To start off, as politely as possible, LEAVE THE ROAD TO US!
You don’t see us wheel our way through foot paths, do you? That’s because we understand that footpaths are meant for ‘feet’ and roads are meant for ‘wheels’. Stop pretending like you don’t know that!
I don’t understand what makes you so confident that we will stop and wait while you gracefully catwalk across the roads. Just because our wheels are quick, it doesn’t mean our reflexes are!
So, don’t throw your lives in our hands. We may not be all that great at catching!
As difficult as this may be for you to take in, you do NOT have magical powers. Just because you hold your hand out while you cross the road, I will not stop my car and salute you! In fact, I will do the exact opposite!
My dearest pedestrians, I know you have common sense. But it is getting a bit rusty from lack of usage.
So, next time, look left, look right and run for your lives. Because, we’re coming for you!

Yours Sincerely,
A Frustrated Driver